Vessels for the Uncontainable
the heartbreaking work of a grieving art director
This post comes in the wake of something I was entirely unprepared for — my world’s axis shifted two weeks ago as I learned of the passing of my dad, my poppa. Navigating grief has been cathartic, challenging, and full of introspection. I am permitting myself to feel into the complicated facets of heartache. Each deep breath chills the tender wounds of my heart as I listen to songs that make me cry on repeat. I’m journaling and compiling photos, and in the process of this emotional inventory, I am immersed in a compendium of evidence that I am lucky. Lucky to have had 40 years with a wonderful dad who left a massive mark on me.
After just a day of mourning, I was caught off guard by a casual nudge to select a vessel to house the cremains. Guided by the funeral home, I found myself paging through a catalog of keepsake urns. Sports teams? Plush bears? Motorcycles figurines? I was mortified. The thought of reducing a person to some cheap tchotchke nauseated me. If there were ever a time to be extra curatorial about an object, wouldn’t this be the case? My horror catalyzed a series of Google searches.
“non-tacky ways to store cremains”
“Georg Jensen silver urn”
“designer urns for cremains”
“creative alternative to keepsake urns”
“can you store cremains in a pill box?”
Of all the shopping roundups on the web, I couldn’t find a piece on tasteful ways to memorialize the ones we have lost. This led me to do what I do best: comb the web for proper solutions. Most are tiny mementos intended for a small collection of cremains or a lock of hair. These are, of course, very personal decisions.
1940’s Fred Davis Pillbox with Opal or a Jade one here
As a family, we agreed to scatter the bulk of his ashes. Personally, I hoped to find a small reminder of him that would memorialize him in an emblematic way. I was looking for an object to store a lock of his hair, a tiny vessel to symbolize him in my home, subtler than an urn.
I came across the first shell from Shop Select Vintage in my feed. I knew right away I had found the perfect vessel. To my dismay, this shell was already sold, which provoked a forensic web search for more. I am happy to report I found myself a mother-of-pearl version, which felt better suited for his curly lock of silvery hair.
(Slightly different markings) Green Sea Snail with Silver Clasp found here
“Perfume Flask” has been a popular search query for me lately, even prior to this particular need. I have been fascinated by vintage Elsa Peretti Designs and felt a certain excitement about her perfume vials. My late grandmother always collected solid perfume containers from Avon and Estée Lauder, so I felt a tinge of nostalgia with these in particular.
If you want to store a larger quantity of cremains, the search terms “silver egg box” and “silver cigarette box” are fruitful.
This Silver Mussel from Old Jewelry has been on my radar for months. It has also already been sold. Some nice alts here and as a pendant here.
Sterling Shell Pillbox is currently unavailable, but Casa Shop plans to put this design into production soon and has a waitlist.
Hand-crafted Italian chased Silver Hinged Clam Pillbox. This is another sold-out find from Old Jewelry, but a nice alternative can be found here.
If you have made it this far, thank you for reading. Death is among the most foreboding subjects, especially for those who haven’t experienced an earth-shattering loss yet. While writing this post, I found relief in channeling my grief in a way that felt natural to me. I hope this post finds its way to anyone disenchanted with the status quo of memorial urn designs and helps them discover an object that feels rich with meaning.
I appreciate your patience while I navigate this new reality, and thank you all for subscribing 🤍
In loving memory of Sonny Casale. A celestial man who marveled at life’s delights until the very end. 06.02.1949 - 02.16.2025